Gracias Guys.

Many times this year I've fought downhill. The wind at my back and an army of friends and family at my side have helped me get and achieve whatever I want. It's made me lazy and cocky. I have had every advantage to succeed in the last couple years in: academics, work, home life and love life that it would make some people plain sick; however, I chose to ignore approximately ninety percent of the opportunities that arose. Every class I blew off, every social screw-up, every time I didn't take work seriously, all of that is changing. I wish I could say it's ending, but I'm no perfect little robot. It's an interesting change to have a series of events whisk away the mentality of a slacker, but with how much my life is warping I must change or be defeated. When I was between goals in life several months ago and thought I was going to try joining the SEALs, I invested more of my life into the goal than I had ever done for anything with the possible exception of high school soccer tryouts. The fire I had for a secure future pushed my limitations, and helped me realize that I needed to consider all my cards in the deck of life. I would love to thank anyone that has helped me see this, and pulled me along by the ear. It's what I need sometimes, and although I may look and sound like an adult, I'm a scared-ass little child that still has no idea what I'm doing. It's tough to admit for somebody as big-headed and pig-headed as I, but I've been blessed with more than enough people that care about me that will help my sorry butt along than I deserve. I can honestly say the fire under my ass may be finally lit, if not by chance, by the combined efforts of a dozen family members and friends. Thanks guys.
To those that read this blog...hah
(short list...heheh..)
-Elaina, thanks for the job!
-Nana, thanks for the guidance and spoils (she spoils me hardcore)
-Mom, Dad, Holly and Mark, thanks for coddling me as I fail and succeed, and loving me for who I am. (That spoiled slacker kid.)
-Ali, with my first paycheck I'm bringing booze to Tally and we're drinking it.
-Linds, thanks for pushing me the years that you did. Hope you get a sweet job.

Goals

A blogpost on my goals seems fitting right now, as I require something to occupy my time and thinking about goals would be a good way to think less of regret.
My resolutions are still in effect and have passed the first month of the year:
-No video games
-No smoking
-Save more money
-Be more responsible (this last one I may have screwed, but I'm working on it)
But apart from those, the goals I have set for myself include:
-Take my new job seriously and show Britt I'm the man for this job
-Before the year's over, I want to have my Bachelor's
-I want to sustain 200 lbs for more than just a couple days
-Find a segway between a branch of the military and Siemens, then
-Pursue that segway.

Faith

The title of this blogpost is faith, but I could've interpreted 'What You Believe In' in many ways. There's a lot of things I believe in: having fun, being a good sport, love, and actual religion. Creationism is a tough topic to briefly brush over, but I can give you an idea of what my faith and ideology towards religion are. I had a tough time believing anything with such little faith around my friend circle in high school, we never talked about it nor did we care. I went through a phase where I tried to learn Eastern philosophies and things like Confucianism, Tao, and Buddhism. They weren't for me. I got many good ideas out of them, and they made me feel smarter, but apart from that they were just ideas. Christianity is my go-to when people ask what I believe, but even then there's a hundred denominations and radical branches in every one of those. I've been recently going to a Methodist church, and enjoy the sermons and way they accept just about all walks of life. I still have issues with letting the science of life ruin my belief system, but every time I pick up something by C.S. Lewis or read around Proverbs I turn back into an apologetic. There's a massive amount of evidence that shows how wrong the bible is, and that we did evolve from simple chemicals that somehow constructed single-cell organisms; however, I can't live my life without the idea of an afterlife. Having a faith in something, anything, makes for nicer and fulfilled people. I do enjoy reading about different philosophies, and Kierkegaardian is probably my favorite. The Bible is a system of morals that are truly a godsend (ironic wordplay anyone?) to the human population. However the Bible came to be, I think it's the most widespread form of human law and should be revered even if you think Jesus was a magic hippie. Kids shouldn't grow up without something to look forward to, something to believe in. They should believe they have a place in the galaxy for a reason and must do something with their existence. As we discover more about our universe, I hope that Christianity can stay a prominent belief system, and it melts together with cosmogeny. It is unfortunate that so many wars and bloodshed stems from religion, but there's radicals in every form of ideology. Christianity was just, like, more popular. Dude.

Storms on the Horizon

In the back of anyone's mind, there are fears and scary things that haunt people. Sometimes they're silly, like cotton balls or speeches; sometimes there's a point to being scared about them, like snakes and heights. I only name cotton balls because I had a friend in high school that freaked when he was around lotion or cotton balls, something about the texture I guess. Anyway, fears can be legitamite or made-up, and normally there's a couple that everyone go through. Acceptance, failure, needles, death or losing people are just a few that I'm sure everyone has felt at least once in their life. Personally, I'm kind of an adrenaline junkie. Fears based on physical pain don't scare me, and neither do attention or public speaking. I love almost all animals except hagfish and mites, but who likes mites? My fears are mostly based off of microscopic parasites, disability, or failure.
I can't stand the thought of animals I can't see eating away at dead flesh, and if I ever get an STD I'm probably going to cry. A fear of disability stems from my Hercules attitude: the idea that I can do anything physically, and if I can't I can learn how or train to it. If I was ever paralyzed or lost a limb, I'd most likely get depressed and freak out. The last of my fears, failure, is due to the fact that I have a lot of pressure on me. I can't fail, especially at this point in my life, because I'm already behind the curve that I've created in my mind. All four of my parents tell me not to worry, that I'm a great guy and success is a frame of mind; however, I want to make money. I want to make money, raise a family, have a little JRG the 4th, own a bigger truck and maybe even a boat. I simply want to be the guy that can support ALL his friends if the need arises. I love being that guy with the truck that can help people out of sand on the beach, tow a neighbor, move furniture for people and do it all for free. Having just got a new job, I feel this post is a little ironic, but it's definitely true. I fear failure and disability the most, with STDs and mites close runner-ups.

My Lifeguards

My friends are literally lifeguards in a lot of cases, but even the ones that aren't do more for me than they may realize. I've met a lot of people I call friends, but there are a few that have been there for me without fail since I met them. I could almost call some of these guys brothers without thinking about it:

Chile- I looked up to this guy in huge ways in high school, I really wasn't sure why he let me cramp his style. The guy was prom king and one of the best soccer players while still holding up some great grades. And his hair is effin' sweet. He can be either very quiet or very loud, and is always up for a good time. Love this cat.

Goose- Jewbrah, a pilot and a dog guy. That should be all I have to say, but also; he's living with me now and our families are closer now than any others I've ever encountered growing up. I'd call his parents mine, and his dogs filled a void that ripped me apart when my childhood pup Osso died. This guy is one ladies' man with a righteous bro personality. His sister and I get along like peas in a pod, and we share interests in pretty much everything. Except flying, I'll leave that to him.

Lanza- OG surf dude, this guy was my link to the cool world when I first got to Gulf Breeze, and lived with me during hurricane Ivan. He's one of the liveliest, most energetic people I've met thus far, and his personality is one of a kind.

Wermers- A friend I met through Thinh and Borgella, Mike is one of the nicest dudes you'll ever meet. He's really, really smart; however, may not show you unless he feels like letting you in. Introspective and insightful, this dude's always been a great broseph.

If all I had were dude friends, I'd probably explode with the testosterone. Some of the ladies in my life keep me sane, some give me the ol' one-two if I'm acting out of line or being a jerkbag.

Erow- She has the memory of several libraries and elephants combined, and hits me with more truth than I can handle at times. This girl just recently got me a job, keeps me sane and deals with my out-of-control girly emotions all in stride. She's a pseudo-hippy from Nawlins and can booze with the best of them, Elaina Marie. Also, we take gorgeous photos.

Lindz- Lindsay and I go back for a couple years, and I've watched her whole personality change since I met her. I like to think we grew up together, as we were still kids when we met. She's helped me mature and I wouldn't be the man I am today without her. She is my ex-girlfriend, but we're still good friends despite all my stupid mood swings and her overpowering strong personality. She's a smart, tough lil' cookie that melts for very few people; I got to be one of them. It's difficult when emotions get involved; we still click all the time and have great times.

I couldn't imagine life without any of these guys, and the below dudes and dudettes are very nice to have around too.

That Mythic Spot

My parents brought me so many places in my childhood that I just adopted the idea that I'm a traveler. So I kept up the idea every chance I got, and I definitely bit when I had the opportunity to head anywher I could. In Brazil my high school friends and I trained for soccer, and Europe was basically one big aggro inline skate tour with my friend Jason Nomura. My mom had a huge traveling bug, I think I caught this itch from her. Before I could remember she took me to Argentina, and we moved to Japan when I was in fourth grade. Okinawa was like a base of operations for my mom's traveling, and I got to tag along. From Oki we hit the Koreas, Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia and Australia. My favorite was Phuket, Thailand. I can't tell you how much my little sister and I bonded over catchy Thai themes like 'Banana Chips' and laughing at things only kids would. Somewhere along the line we made it out to Panama to visit my friend Chuck Yeager, my longest-lasting childhood friend. My earliest memories I have are with that guy, and then randomly I have some chasing mean raccoon-like monkeys called kurumungas out of trash cans. Every special occasion that my parents get to celebrate is spent in vacation spots, almost always out-of-country. They both got remarried in the last couple years, and my mom chose a cruise, my dad chose Hawaii. On my mom's family moon cruise I still learned more about other cultures, and got a shock when I saw Haiti and even Jamaica. I had a great time, but those countries are poorer than Bali was when we went there as kids. Sometimes you don't have to leave the country to have an amazing time though, as I learned how great the west coast is this summer. On the return from Oki we drove from Seattle down to San Fransisco, and camped in the redwoods. The massive size of those trees blew my mind, and the people I met gave me different views on hundreds of topics that I don't even normally think about. Some of them had never left California, (which makes sense, the state is gorgeous and has a mentality unmatched in the entire world) but while there I learned that the important thing isn't where you are. It's how you are. Traveling is important, it gives you scope on how the world is; however, if you can find a place that has love, don't forget that place. Okinawa is one those places, so is Hawaii, and so is New Orleans. I read an article in Men's Health that put New Orleans as one of the least healthy places to live. I say bump that. If the people are loving, and the crawfish are boiling, there isn't a reason to hate. Simple truth in local food: from zenzai in Oki to poi in Oahu, food influences the way people are; they say the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That goes for anyone. Share food with someone today. Try it out. I think at this point I'm philosiphizin' and I'll quit rambling. But if you read all this, take some knowledge of my big dumb blog: share food and love, travel enough to understand more than one culture, and eventually visit either New Orleans, Okinawa, Oahu or all three.

Step Into Liquid, Among Other Titles

I almost decided to skip this step of the blog challenge, movies aren't my forte. I like a widespread selection of movies, and the majority of them are either action or comedy. Almost anything with Will Ferrell I'll watch, and I can quote a load of Anchorman one-liners. His punchlines are just too easy to repeat later. Zoolander and Wedding Crashers are probably the next in line for comedy. Monty Python has a bunch of classic movies I've watched one too many times, and Spinal Tap is a must-see for any rock fans. As far as action goes, I love me a good ol' fashioned kung fu. Tony Jaa rocks Ong Bak and the Protector, Jackie Chan is talented and funny in everything he touches, and Bruce Lee has some classic stuff. A type of movie I enjoy even more than kung fu nowadays is medieval warfare movies. Troy, 300, Arn, Robin Hood, Gladiator, Alexander the Great, A Knight's Tale (somewhat a comedy), and
the Lord of the Rings trilogy are way near the top in my book. Some other random movies that I get a kick out of are Blow, Lords of Dogtown, Across The Universe, The Green Mile, , Green Street Hooligans, Step Into Liquid, Into The Wild and Pirates of The Caribbean. Every dude has his soft spot, and mine just seems to drift toward The Notebook. I'm including it; plus, the sex scene is pretty freakin' hot.
Notable mentions that aren't quite movies but still amazing: Band of Brothers, any documentary on animals like Planet Earth or the Blue Planet, and Earthlings.

A Few of My Favorite 'Things'

The idea for this post was 'things I like'. Initially I just started grabbing photos from Facebook of anything that grabbed my attention, and it continued until I had WAY too many. I looked at the other topics to narrow down the selection, realizing that it was Things. Pets and friends are other topics so I'm saving all the pictures of me and dogs, me and my best friends, and the ex lover. I ended up compiling a list of actions and foods for the most part. I could've gone online and gotten pictures of Carlsberg and Magic Hat beer, found a photo of a soccer ball, sushi, surfboard, and a Taco Bell logo and called it quits. Instead, I figured I'd post pictures of either things I'm actually in, doing, loving; or, pictures I love for what they remind me of. This may be the greatest amount of pics I've posted in this blog.... but here goes, things I like:
Climbing-

Food-
Work Shenanigans-
Scuba Diving-
More Food-
Video Games-

Epic High Fives-
More More Food-
Skating-

Massages and Soccer (Two In One)-
RUM-
I know I missed a lot, like big hugs and posing on top of hard-to-reach places, but you get the general idea.

Kaikuahine

It means sister in Hawaiian. There's really six siblings I call brothers and sisters in total, but only one's been there my entire life. Alexis Llexia Gouldman, mah lil' sissss. She takes after my Nana, which says a lot if you knew how active and amazing my grandmother is. They have a bond I envy too, but that's not the point of this blogpost. My little sister stands a head shorter than me, but you'd think she's a foot taller with her swagger and determination. She's as fun as my dad and tenacious as my mom, and she and I have a similar taste in humor. All my friends thought she was hot growing up, to which I presented them a warning of a knuckle sandwich. Somehow she still picked guys bigger than me to date, and I'm 200 pounds of lean muscle. She was always the outgoing one of us, and has the merits from high school to show it. She's was varsity basketball like her freshman year, and could've done any sport she wanted. She also placed 36th in the 5k for Florida, and is one of very few people I know that can push me when we run. Ali is at FSU right now studying to be a dietician, and throwing down the hammer on some ridiculous nutrition courses that revolve around chemistry. (my downfall...gah I loathe chem.) I'm sure she'll live to 200, and she eats 'vegan' only. I put that in quotes to show she cheats sometimes and french fries are not something a dietician should be wolfing down, even if you's drunkskies. We have similar taste in music too, and she can recite every word of most Ludacris hits. Some of my favorite memories with her include: microwaving her Barbies, fighting over the front seat of a van in Japan until she bit me, macking on her high school girlfriends (to no avail), watching her succeed in sports and as of late, going drinking with her. Hey, vodka's vegan too. Through the divorce we bonded, and gained some other siblings.

On my mom's side we have Sean and Kayla. Sean is taller than me, takes after his dad's strong silence, and enjoys a lot of the same things as I do. We get along well.

Kayla is artsy and musical; she used to be quiet as Sean but has bloomed into quite the Hawaiian darling.

On my dad's side is Ryan, Matt, and Haley. Haley is the youngest of the six, likes guitar and is a smarty pants. She's a freshman in high school now, and her nickname is Ghetto Boo (mostly just to tease her).

Ryan is the second oldest, and I long to have passion like he and Matt. Ryan is an amazing tattoo artist; he has a sweet job that gave him permanent living priveliges on Okinawa at the Kadena Marina, and is engaged to a Filipina girl named Glenda. He looks like a hoodlum but is a down-to-earth, responsible dude.

Matt lives with me, another brother that's taller than me. He is a chef at an old folks home and is making moves to get back to Okinawa as a culinary teacher. They both have this great passion that is the hardest part of my life to find.

I love all six of these dweebs, and I think if somebody could sing we'd have a band. Ryan and Sean play bass; Kayla, Haley and I play guitar, and Matt is THE drummer. Ali can rap I guess... hah.

Lineage

The childhood I had was probably the closest I can describe to perfect, thanks to the dedication and hard work of two of the most amazing people I know: my parents. I wouldn't say I idolize them, and my mother and father aren't the only people I think of as my parents. They simply did a hell of a job raising me.

My mom, being a tough spirit from the heart of Queens, New York, has the heart of a lion. She grew up around the corner from 50 Cent and went to high school with Dennis Rodman. She speaks Spanish, French, Catalan (a mix of the previous two) and a large bit of Japanese. Most of my friends are scared of her Hispanocity, (Hispanic ferocity) but that only exists because she's the most protective person I've known. What she lacks in empathy for random people she makes up for in loving those close to her. I couldn't ask for a stronger, more energetic mother. My mom and dad divorced in 2006, but I think they're far better apart than together. Both are remarried and have their own version of happily ever after, and that's the jam.

My dad was an only child that grew up in California and Indiana. He got everything he ever wanted in life, and somehow let me do the same. I'm spoiled as month old milk. My dad is a nerd and has a childlike spirit that I inherited along with his fascination with nature. He's competitive, likes to party, and can be the most fun person in the entire world if he lets you into his friendly bubble. He's passionate like my mom, but less about people and more about hobbies. Few people in this world have experienced and achieved as much as my dad. Those are my blood parents. There were absences in my life caused by things beyond their control, thus I gained other parental figures in addition to them. The step-parents I gained from the divorce are just as important to me as any other family member.
Mark Helmus, a huge Marine Corps officer with a heart of gold, married my mom. He is the epitomy of strong, silent type, and is either as emotional or more emotional than me. Which says something, I'm a huge wuss when it comes to emotional pain.
My stepmom, Holly Schipper, is a nurse that doesn't stop smiling. Ever. It's ridiculous, she just cares for everyone all the time. Holly is one of the most genuine, happy people I've ever met. And she totally gets it from her mom, whom I love too. She babies my dad and he needs that, both of my step-parents work perfectly for the blood relative counterparts in both marriages. I love all four of my parents, it's semi-dysfunctional but it works. I'm very rich in the way of people who care for me.

Bikini-Clad

Disney. It's the cause of a hundred bazillion cases of naive women, and a couple of naive guys too. The story of love, however illustrated, is always romanticized to sickly proportions when presented to young girls. I grew up on Disney movies, with my favorite of which being Robin Hood. All the old Disney movies had a huge emphasis on true love, or some kind of romance in the story line. Nala and Simba, Jasmine and Aladdin, my boy lil' Hood and Maid Marian, the list goes on... I mean Prince Charming is basically the 'ideal' dude in little girls' heads. I idealized that persona growing up, and never had a girlfriend in high school because of it. I'd be talking about my most recent, and longest lasting, flame in this blog for the concept of first love; however, I seriously doubt anyone wants to read a whiny post-breakup blog about this girl. I will, however, blog about the first girl I thought I was in love with. Cindy Kaori Moromijya Fillhart, a half-Japanese American that stands at about five feet tall is the first girl that accepted my idealism about women. I could be myself around her, goofy and romantic and ... well really goofy. Explaining the summer romance I had with her would be difficult, but I can document the things we did. There were nights I'd skate across Chatan-Cho to bring zenzai and flowers, and there were others that she'd take me to the firework shop and we'd see who could get into the most trouble and get away with it. She enjoyed the overly romantic cheesiness I attained from my father; for instance: Cindy, "That's where I go to get my teeth done!" (Yes, an exclamation mark, as everything was exciting to her, always. Even dentistry offices.) Me, "Aw, that must be where you got that smile." Cheesy? Yes, but it worked to get the smile to come out every time. A lot of my metaphors were lost on her due to the slight language barrier, not that she couldn't speak English well, just that some metaphors are so American they're just tough to explain. An example of that would be that they don't have pennies in Okinawa, and saying, "If I had a penny for everytime I heard that..." just doesn't make sense to her. I didn't care at the time, I thought everything about her was perfect. I didn't connect with her on an academic level, and we didn't have deep talks about souls or the meaning of life. We just had fun. She was somebody I confided in with secrets, and told me anything and everything in a thick Jap-American accent. I thought it was love, but it was the perfect summer romance. First love? Probably not, but I'm sure I'll never forget her...
Had to include a picture: (hope she doesn't hate me for this...)

Paddling Harder

The second installment of this challenge is going to be quite easy. I thought for a long time about what I'd call this blog, and it's meaning is pretty simple. I'm twenty-three as of two weeks ago, and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Everyone grows up wondering what they want to do, and I'm still not anywhere close to what I want. I figured the metaphor of surfing could easily explain that. When you go surfing, you chase something that may never come. The riptide can pull you out far past where you want to be, it can tire you to the point of giving up, and it can push you just out of reach of the perfect wave. Right now I feel like I'm chasing my ideal lifestyle (or wicked break, bro) and I'm just getting pulled and shoved around by these riptides and random whitewashes. Opportunities for success are 'breaking' all around me, and I just need to paddle hard. The mess that is my life would be my ride if I could focus and pull through, then I'd just be riding the great glassy one. It's tough to love and play when direction and focus are neither near nor far. One thing I have decided is that 2011 is my year to catch some great waves. I have a great set-up, two new amazing friends that moved in with me, I've quit some bad habits that keep me beached, and the water's warm with chance. I'm looking forward to a lot of change this year, more than what's happened so far. I hope that with a new job, mindset and (literally) a new board and wetsuit, I can out-paddle the tides and really enjoy myself.

A Recurring Theme

This poor unattended-to blog has been mishapen and woeful lately, so I will give it another chance at happiness. I don't take pleasure in recirculating old themes, but due to several friends' success at this challenge I suppose I'll give the 30 day challenge a shot. The idea is that I might actually tend to the blog if I force thirty different blogs about pre-selected subjects. It originally sounded like a myspace survey to me, but two good friends made it cool. Yes, peer pressure works.
In accordance with the 'regulations' of said blog, I must begin with fifteen random facts, a recent picture, and an introduction. I feel an introduction could be fitting due to the recent year-change and my feeling like a new person. More on that to come.



I am John Robert Gouldman III, and I go by Rob. Unfortunately everyone calls me Robbie, Robbles or something else inane and childlike. I just finished my AA at a community college and have very few credits between me and a Bachelors of Science, but have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I work at Starbucks right now, but am in the process of getting into Siemens. Yes, that was a joke about gay sex. I like women, and am SUCH A HUNK. The above credentials verify that, so come and get a piece. My life is nothing short of a joke right now, and despite living luxuriously off of my parents I have very little money. I hope the ladies like McDonalds. I have strange OCD ticks, collect hats, obsess over dogs, and am a bad driver. I just recently started buckling up, and may live longer for it. There's a chance that if you live in the Southeast I've scared the fecal matter out of you on the road. I believe in a higher power and evolution, and think most religion is a great installment to keep humans from complete chaos. As far as politics goes, I don't know enough to really hold an argument. I took a test and I'm apparently pro big government and liberal. I am competitive, spoiled, cynical, sarcastic and sometimes a jerk. Now if you've gotten this far I'm sure you either know me or am done reading about how lame I am. But alas, I was simply buttering you up for the fifteen interesting facts:
1. I like to lay down in the shower, probably because I'm lazy.
2. My head hair grows out of control, but I can't grow facial hair or body hair.
3. I can juggle. I learned in Key West, and made bank. (for a twelve year old)
4. I've been to five continents, and twenty two countries. Thanks, mom and dad.
5. Dogs are my thing. If there's one in the room, I'm playing with it.
6. Myopia's my other thing. -4.25 right eye, -4.75 in the left. Like a bat.
7. I read. Books. I know it's not the 70s, but Bukowski makes me laugh.
8. I polevaulted in highschool. No that's not another gay joke.
9. A mix of OCD and love of music pushed me to collect 23000 songs. 30 playlists.
10. I secretly love HGTV. A gorgeous home says a lot to me.
11. I did ballet in elementary school. I think my mom was confused.
12. Having different smells around is crucial. Febreze and candles are my jam.
13. I love giving people things, and sometimes I get carried away.
14. Adrenaline junkie. If it's possibly dangerous, I'd like to try it.
15. Food. I love the stuff. I wolf everything down and don't know when to stop. It's going to eventually be a problem, but for now I'm enjoying my metabolism.